Random Thoughts #20

--Casey's been limping a little after he goes to the park. Though I have absolutely no expertise in canine physiology, I have diagnosed it as a sore knee. My treatment: aspirin hidden inside a bit of fat free hot dog wiener. But that's not my point here. What I really wanted to tell you was that I ate that whole pack of wieners in two days. I'm a bad veterinarian.

-- Today I'm going to the dentist for a regular cleaning. I'm going to ask him about Invisalign to fix my teeth. It costs $4,700 (yikes) but I think I may do it. I've been kind of self-conscious about my teeth lately. Last night I whined about it to my parents and made them feel guilty about not getting me braces when I was a kid. Not $4,700 guilty, but guilty nonetheless.

--Last night I scratched an itch on the back of my arm and a rather disgusting chunk of flesh came off under my fingernail. I completely forgot that on Saturday night someone burned me with a cigarette, and apparently it formed a blister. It hurt like hell, but I distinctly remember being happy that he didn't put a hole in my new shirt. Honestly, I think he did it on purpose because I was laughing it up with his boyfriend. Please, like searing my flesh would stop me if I really wanted him.

--Yesterday I saw a co-worker driving next to me over by my house. We're very friendly at the office and joke around a lot, so in an effort to be funny, I gave him the finger when he drove by me. This morning he came over to my desk and said, "Hey Dave, yesterday my son asked me what this means (as he extends his middle finger)." Apparently, his six year-old was in the seat next to him and I didn't even see him. I'm an awful influence. But hey, it was a learning experience, right?

--That story reminds me of the time my mother gave the finger to a man behind us who was honking. It was our church pastor trying to say Hi. Amen!