Guest Blogger: Matt

Well hey there. I know you're all anxiously awaiting the full report on the D. And we'll get there in due time... but first, I ought to introduce myself.

I'm Matt. I've been sleeping in Dave's bed for the last three months. Well, maybe a little longer than that. But either way, sans titre, I guess you could say we're coupled. He swoons me with early morning coffee, and rides motorcycles with me from time to time. He's a stud.

But that's neither here nor there. Really, you just want me to verify how amazing Dave is. I mean really, that's a given. He made me breakfast one time...and he can make a mean lasagna. But I'd like to offer a few sentiments that shed a little light on what I deal with on a daily basis. Stay with me here.

Sometimes I think he's an 18 year old stuck in a 35 30 scratch that - a 26 year old's body. Yesterday he happened to race a new Honda S2000 down the highway. What's 150-something miles per hour? Is it living on the edge, or borderline insanity? I'll let you decide. Really, I'd like to hear what you think.

He's rockin' right along with his business venture. But I know he keeps that top secret. So I'll give you something that you may (or may not) know about ...

Things about Dave:

1. He's lactose intolerant more than anyone else I know. Literally. He can look at a milkshake, and instantly he's filled a room with intolerable gas. Just imagine what its like when he actually finishes a shake... *shudders* (He also keeps a can of Febreze spray within reach for those awkward little moments).

2. He's got a porn collection that almost any guy (gay or straight) would envy. Oddly enough, he rarely (if ever) masturbates. .....I don't get that one folks. I really don't.

3. He doesn't shave his chest all that much anymore... like the rituals you saw in his video post a long time ago. He'll keep his shirt on, I promise.

4. He went commando at the office today because he was too drenched from sweat (from riding the bike in the BLAZING midwest heat/humidity). This was fairly amusing, and leaves the table wide-open for some jokes. Even funnier, he hung his skivvies from the wall by his window in his new (and perdy) corner office. Literally, his underwear were hanging up. It was a sad day for downtowners looking up in our windows.

5. Last, but not least: He has a bladder the size of an acorn. I'd guess that he's gone to the little boy's room about 10 times since lunch, just for a little urinary relief. Ironically, he's got a small bladder, but he makes up for it in other areas... he wants me to tell you its because he's so massively hung. In reality, he has a wonderful personality. Not sure how those go together, but he pulls it off quite nicely.

Alright, enough about Dave. You'll get more soon. If this wasn't too terrible, you'll hear more from me in the not-so-distant future.

PS... Casey is doin' well too. I'm officially his boyfriend. Or human-sized play toy. Either way, he says hi, too.