Saturday, June 30, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Random Thoughts #49
--Is it me, or has the Discovery Channel all of a sudden become the Mike Rowe Channel? I mean, I like the guy--he's good-looking, has a great voice and good sense of humor. But come on, Discovery. Does he really need to be on 22 of the 24 hours?
--I can smell my flip-flops from across the room. That's seriously disgusting. What's funny is that none of my other shoes smells bad. But these... whew! I think I may run them through the dishwasher.
--My Mom called to tell me that it had rained 18 inches overnight at their house just outside of Austin, Texas. My first thought: NO WAY could it rain that much. That's like Noah's Ark rain. I sent her an e-mail asking her if that was "Mom inches" (she has a track record of exaggerating for effect), but she denied it. Turns out, it did rain that much, and the 24-hour record in Texas is 38.2. Damn. That's a lotta watta. And then this morning, Marble Falls (their town) was on the Today Show! GO MF!
--I'm always amazed at how many people pack those giant mega-churches to listen to preachers like Joel Osteen or Joyce Meyer. When they pan out and show the crowd (nodding and saying "amen," of course) there are thousands of them. I wonder what the people on the top level in the worst seats get out of that. I bet they think that somehow they're getting extra points with their God for physically attending, because you KNOW it sucks to park and hike all the way up there. I wonder if they sell hot dogs...
--I was thinking about writing a post today on the varying quality of toilet paper and how my white-trash booty actually prefers the cheaper brands. But then I thought it might be interesting to write a post on the varying techniques for wiping my ass. I know the topic is gross, but what if I'm doing it wrong? Hell, I don't even remember how I learned. How long of a strip do you pull from the roll? Double-swipe? Triple-swipe? Do you LOOK at it before tossing it? I need to know these things. I smell a video coming on. Literally.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Subway Employee: "Hi, welcome to Subway. What can I get you today?"
Me: "I'll have a 6-inch Chicken Terryaki on Wheat with no cheese, please. Toasted."
Employee: "Coming right up!" [Puts on gloves, opens up the oven]. "What kind of bread did you say?"
Employee: "Gotcha! [Places bread on counter]. Six-inch or foot long?"
Employee: "Oh that's right, you said that already. And it was Chicken breast, right?"
Me: "No, chicken terryaki."
Employee: "No prob. And what kind of cheese would you like?"
Me: "Umm, no cheese."
Me: [Glares]. "Yes."
Is it me, or do the Subway people do this on purpose? I've been doing a little informal poll lately, and not ONE has been able to get through my simple order without asking me to repeat at least one item. In contrast, how the hell do the waiters/waitresses at nicer restaurants take orders for eight people without a pen and paper and never seem to get it wrong? Clearly a skill set Subway doesn't teach.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Hello again, Hello.
Allow me to re-introduce myself.
I'm Dave. I'm
37 32 29 very mature for my age and live in Kansas. I ride motorcycles, have a Beagle and occasionally (ok, ever so often) (ok, fine, hardly ever) have think about homosexual sex. I used to write a lot in my blog when I had a cushy job that paid me lots of money to pick my nose and make videos during working hours. But that's all changed. And I'm SO much happier...
In the last few months (though it's seemed like 2 years) I've started a new company with my best friend, roommate and now business partner, Tim. We're doing awesome so far. It's going to rock. Seriously. We launch officially in mid-July. You will not get details until then (well, unless you have naked pictures of
yourself someone hot to trade for snippets of information). Or you could guess.
I have to admit, I'm a little rusty at this blogging thing. I could barely remember my login, haven't looked at the blog for several weeks (months?), and I'm sad to report I haven't had time to return the favor of those that keep track of mine. Hopefully, you'll understand when you see what we've put together. I PROMISE a full length video of everything we've done. Penis swear.
Until then, here's a lil sumin' sumin' to keep you entertained. See if you can watch it without clenching your jaw!