I'm running for Governor

I had another post prepared for today about the price of gasoline, but I'll use it tomorrow. Instead, I just HAVE to comment on something I heard on the Today show this morning. In an interview with Matt Lauer, Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco announced that she's declared today a "Day of Prayer" in her state. From the press release:

"I have declared August 31, 2005, a Day of Prayer in the State of Louisiana. I am asking that all of Louisiana take some time Wednesday to pray. Pray for the victims and the rescuers. Please pray that God give us all the physical and spiritual strength to work through this crisis and rebuild. Please pray for patience for those anxiously waiting to hear from family members or to get word about their homes. Pray for the safety of our hard-working rescuers and those they are bringing to safety. I know, by praying together on Wednesday, that we can pull together and draw strength we need; strength, that only God can give us. In my prayers, I will also thank God for the strong and resilient people of this state and how they are working to meet this challenge."

OK, I'm a bit confused. First, she didn't tell us exactly to which God we should pray. I see that as a major omission. The Islamic, Hindu, American Indian and Jewish population of Louisiana could be sending mixed prayer signals, and I think that's just going to add to the confusion. And forget about those Confucians, and Shintos and Taoists out there--let's hope they moved to Mississippi. I guess, even though the U.S. constitution tells us otherwise, she's assuming there's one God that takes all prayer requests. Oh well, at least she told us what to pray FOR. That should help.

The other thing I'm a bit concerned about is the efficacy of prayer in general. Although she clearly said in her interview "We know that prayer works" I've scoured the internet this morning for reputable scientific journals that have documented where one or more people "thinking really hard about something" actually influenced said thing's outcome. I'm sure, though, that David Duke probably has some proof somewhere.

See, if *I* were Governor of Louisiana (which I'd never be, the pay sucks), I would have at least said something more secular, like "We ask that you focus your collective thoughts or prayers so that our rescue workers will find the strength it will take to do all this work by themselves since the President in on fucking VACATION."

OR, better yet, how about this:

Louisiana Governor declares August 31, 2005 "National Send Us $20 Day." See, even if 1% of the estimated 297 million Americans donated, the Governor would have an extra $597 million bucks to pump the water from the streets of one of my favorite cities. Now if we could only pump the water out from between her ears...

For me, I'm going to send my collective thoughts and prayers for Governor Blanco to quit wasting time and taxpayer money on press releases about prayer and start spending her time finding my dear friend Steven about whom I am terribly worried and have not heard a peep. Hope you're OK SF!