Burrito Bitch

On Saturday I was out running some errands and decided to swing into Chipotle to grab a quick bite to eat. It was around 4pm and there was hardly anyone inside. Only two people were in line in front of me--a young couple and another guy. By the time I started to order, the girl was at the register paying and something had gone wrong with her transaction. You could feel the tension in the air. Voices were raised. The line was at a stand still.

Generally, on Saturday's I'm pretty relaxed and not in a hurry to go anywhere, so I waited patiently while the only register was being occupied to fix the girl's problem. But then things started to get ugly. This girl started to go ballistic. She was cursing at the Chipotle employees, cursing at her boyfriend across the restaurant (he had already gone to sit down--can't say that I blame him). The Manager had come out by this time and was trying to keep the other customers moving, but the girl was barking "NO, I want my f*cking problem FIXED, NOW, before you help anyboy else!" In about a 2 minute period she had escalated to a steady yell and dropped about ten F-bombs aimed directly at the Chipotle employees.

Now let me be upfront about the fact that I have chewed an ass or two in my day. I've complained. I've raised my voice. I've probably even cursed. But never, ever like this girl. She wasn't angry at the problem. She was angry at the employee, and she was directing her rage directly at her. I didn't like that. Soooo, the only thing I could think to do was to jump in and show some support to the employee. I looked the girl directly in the eye and said in a voice loud enough for everyone in the store to hear:

"I'll pay for your lunch if you just shut up and quit being so obnoxious."

Suffice to say, she didn't like this at all. But everyone else in the store did. I actually got a "me too" from someone in line behind me, and I think the employee snickered. The angry young girl looked me directly in the eye, obviously in a complete state of rage and says "Kiss my ass." Rather than stoop to her level of insults, I just continued to stare her down. Then, to my utter delight, the Manager slides my burrito into a bag, hands me my drink cup and says, "Sir, thanks for your patience, this is on us today."

I can't begin to tell you how good it felt as I grabbed my bag, gave the burrito bitch a "HA HA" look and left her standing in disgust. Next time I get mad at something or someone in that type of situation, I'm going to remember this experience, and the immortal words of some annonymous wise man: "You get a lot further with sugar than you do with vinegar." Or, in this case, hot sauce.