Wash THIS

Since it's about to be flu season, I'm hearing a lot of news stories about handwashing. And frankly, it distrubs me that people need to be reminded that there are germs among us and that we should ocassionally wash our hands to avoid them. I can see the need to tell all the germ-spreading children not to pick their nose or eat food while they poop, but I'm an adult, and I do NOT need some freak running around with rubber gloves, Q-tips and a Petri dish trying to scare me into hygiene practices.

In spite of this, I have been trying hard to be more conscious about washing both more often and longer. Apparently, you're supposed to wash your hands for a minimum of 20-30 seconds, or as the experts tell us--long enough to sing "Happy Birthday," twice. I'm having a very hard time doing this. If you haven't tried it, 20-30 seconds is an eternity of handwashing. It makes me feel like The Boy that Couldn't Stop Washing. Other people come in the bathroom, pee, and leave while I'm still scrubbing at the sink. And I seriously doubt they think, "Boy, he has great hygiene practices." Rather, I'm sure they think "Eww, he must have crapped on his hand."

If all that washing doesn't help, I feel confident that my hypo-allergenic mask, anti-bacterial lotion and ionic air purifier will keep me perfectly safe. I wonder where that guy gets those gloves...