Ghostly Turnout

I always get excited for Halloween trick-or-treaters (TOTs) and invariably, I wind up disappointed in the turnout. This year was no different. Here was the evening:

5:00pm Leave office promptly to get ready for the festivities.
5:45pm Open bags of candy.
5:46pm Eat Reece's Peanut Butter Cup.
6:00pm Sweep front porch and sidewalk, turn on lights for safety.
6:10pm Put lighted plastic pumpkins in windows.
6:14pm Eat Reece's Peanut Butter Cup.
6:16pm Put Casey in the kitchen, shut baby gate.
6:21pm Eat Reece's Peanut Butter Cup.
6:31pm Eat Reece's Peanut Butter Cup.
6:39pm Doorbell rings for the first time. Wet pants with excitement. Two TOTs.
6:40pm Eight trick or treaters! One was a 16 y/o with a lame mask. He only got one piece of candy.
6:41pm Six TOTs! Cute little ones. They all got two pieces.
6:42pm Three girls in questionable anime outfits. They bitched at only getting two pieces. Seriously.
6:50pm A large red M&M costume and 3 other little cuties. I'm now pouring candy into their bags.
6:55pm Three pre-teen girls (giggling), dressed like 50’s sluts. One piece each.
7:03pm One gay guy dressed in work clothes picking up his boyfriend's wallet that he left in my car Sat evening. No candy.
7:07pm Eat Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup.
7:20pm Wondering where the hell the rest of the the TOTs are.
7:21pm Yell at Casey to stop the goddamn whining!
7:23pm Eat Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup
7:25pm Hears voices. Damn, just the TV.
7:40pm Eats Butterfinger. Looks out window.
7:48pm One bunny, a sheep and a princess (and one very hot dad). 23 pieces each.
7:53pm A devil, a ghost and a hockey mask with a sickle. 10 pieces each.
8:12pm Eat Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup.
8:14pm Let Casey out because I can’t stand the whining.
8:27pm Eat Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup.
8:34pm Consider shutting down the farm. Feel a little gassy.
8:40pm Lights out.
8:45pm Look at all the candy I have left over.
8:46pm Cry at how fat I'm going to get when I eat all of them.
9:14pm Vomit Reece's Peanut Butter Cups.

I'm off to NYC this morning for two nights. I'll try to post from the road!