A Pain in the A**

If, by chance, you happen to be wrestling a squeaky toy from the jaws of a ferocious Beagle and you hear something go "pop" in your right forearm, this may be a sign of a painful injury. And if this condition persists for more than 4-6 hours, you will soon be unable to perform the following functions without experiencing excrutiating pain. I encountered all of them throughout my day yesterday...

--Wrestling squeaky toys from the jaws of ferocious Beagles.
--Brushing your teeth.
--Ironing.
--Starting your car.
--Pressing Lock/Unlock on the keyless remote.
--Turning any doorknob to the right.
--Using chopsticks.
--Waving. Especially waving.
--Opening a bottle of anything.
--Being "scissors" in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.
--Removing your cell phone from its holster.
--Typing.
--Carrying groceries to the car.
--Opening the refrigerator.

I suspect there might be a few other things for which I use my right hand exclusively that also might be painful, but I thought it was best not to get started on something I couldn't finish. You know, like, um, painting.