Rental Cars

I hate rental car companies. They are the absolute scum of the earth. They are worse than car salesmen, realtors and Jehovah's Witnesses combined. I find their business practices to be unethical, inconsiderate and downright intimidating. Now I realize that someone with a blog named PlaysWellWithOthers probably shouldn't do a lot of ranting, but in this case, I think it's warranted. Here are a few of the things I don't like:

The insurance. How am I supposed to know what my policy covers vs. what their policy covers? Insurance laws--especially for rentals--vary from state to state. When they ask me if I want it, they almost always say, "Are you SURE you're covered?" I almost never am. Sure that is. I think. Maybe. Most of the time I see/hear experts that say the car rental policy is unnecessary, so why do I have to encounter such confusion (aka extortion) at the reservation counter? Here's a customer-focused tip: Factor in your insurance premiums--at cost plus reasonable margin--into your prices and spread the cost over everyone and quit bothering me with this.

The gas. This is an unbelievable inconvenience, even with their vast array of options. First, I have the option of paying upfront for a full tank of gas at regular prices, even though there's a very good likelihood I'll get screwed by doing so. I also can fill the tank myself at a gas station within two miles of the airport, even though I have no friggin' idea where these gas stations are, and even if I were inclined, I'd have to drive around forfivee miles just to find them. [Oh, and don't forget your receipt, they need documentation to make sure they're not getting ripped off. God forbid!] Last, I can always just turn in the car with however much gas is in the tank; however, I'll pay $6.43/gallon (wait--didn't they just offer to sell it to me for market price?). Another customer-focused tip: Start a marketing program like "Turn in your car with however much gas you have left. We'll fill it up at market prices!" I mean, you don't charge me extra to wash it, do you? Or put air in the tires? Or oil?

The contract. EIGHT. That is the number of times I had to sign the rental contract. Seven initials, one full signature. There is absolutely no need for this (but maybe I should have an attorney validate this point). From the little I know about contracts, ONE signature will do. I think this is nothing but pure intimidation. Have there been studies to prove that people that sign eight times are much better drivers than those that sign once? Ridiculous. I mean, I could borrow the full amount of the car online WITHOUT a signature. How much does a Dodge Stratus go for these days anyway, like $1,000? Geez.

The walk around. This is when you are handed a card and a barely sharpened pencil and told to document every scratch, dent and ding on the vehicle. First, why the hell can't THEY do this? Can't they have an itemized list ready for me to sign? Why do I have to take my valuable vacation time to look over their cars? Aren't they going to do it anyway when I return it? And how many times have I had to do this in the dark? This is more blatant intimidation under the guise of "getting me" if I scratch their car. Hey--guess what: scratches happen. Sometimes they’re not even my fault. Factor your "scratch risk factor" into your prices and quit making me walk around in the freezing cold with a flashlight for something that no one looks at when I turn it in anyway.

Oh and another thing: I'm getting really tired of walking to row number 43 to get my "Gold Club" rental car. Think of it like this: if EVERYONE is Gold, NO ONE is Gold. I want my car on the front row three steps from the door. The heater better be on, the trunk better be open and there better not be ONE fucking scratch on it! I mean, after all, I signed my LIFE away for this stinky under-powered American piece of crap.

There. Now I feel better.