To KC or not to KC

I had a really interesting conversation with my friend Ryan last night about the possibility of him moving to Kansas City. I think he wants to, but I feel like he's looking for a reason not to. He called me last night and this was [basically] how our conversation went:

Me: Hello there!

Ryan: Hey, What's going on?

M: Oh, I'm watching TV, looking online for books and playing ball with the pup. Ya know, after work multi-tasking.

R: [Very serious tone.] Cool. I just finished up with dinner and I have a question.

M: Uh oh. [I jokingly picture Ryan mulling over this issue as he eats, pulling on his hair and wringing his hands]. This sounds serious. But OK, shoot.

R: Which city is more liberal, Kansas City or Dallas?

M: Oh lord. Is this a trick question?

R: No, just answer.

M: Well, what do you mean by liberal? That's a pretty broad question. Are you talking specifically about the gay thing?

R: Yeah, I guess. But also just a way of thinking and stuff.

M: Well, I've held hands with a guy at the movies and on the street in both cities, but I've also NOT held hands with a guy at the movies and on the street in both cities. And I've never been gay-bashed or had obscenities yelled at me (at least gay ones), or any of those things. But I'm not sure that makes either town liberal.

R: You're avoiding the question.

M: I know. Because you're going to misuse my information to make inappropriate decisions about relocation.

R: No I'm not, just answer.

M: OK, well let me clarify a few things. First, are you wanting to know the "average" person in these cities, or the people I surround myself with and the places I hang out? Because, as you know, I don't hang out at churches or libraries or any public places for that matter very often.

R: Just the average.

M: Now come on. How many "average" people do you hang out with? Are you thinking you're going to move to either of these places and be friends with the average person? Which is probably an early-thirties housewife with two kids and a minivan. And she's probably married to a mid-thirties Sprint employee, but that's just a guess.

R: OK, that's fair. Still, what do you think?

M: I think you're asking the wrong question. I think you should be asking, "Does Kansas City have 5, 10 or 20 people that are similar enough to me to sustain my happiness as an intellectual adult and a gay man?" Because I know LOTS of gay people here, and as far as I can tell, they're generally OK with the gay thing.

R: OK, interesting perspective. But what about a husband?

M: Oh my god, you poor thing. STOP. I can't answer that question, neither can you. Your next husband could come from a bus stop for all I know. And we have lots of bus stops here. I think. With your brains and your looks you could find a boyfriend in Timbuktu.

R: OK, OK. I'm just stressing over this. I've got all my applications filled out and I'm ready to submit them. One is to a program in KC.

M: Well. I won't lie. I'm rooting for that one. And if it make you feel any better, Saturday night I'm traveling to suburbia to have dinner with my good friends Pam and Mike. They have two kids and a minivan. And as far as I know, they're pretty liberal. Granted, it took some training on my part, but they're responding well.

R: [Chuckles]. Well that's good to hear.

M: And don't forget... I'm here!

R: And how could I forget that?

M: [Smiles].

R: OK, well I feel a little better now. Thanks.

M: Anytime. Kansas City has some pretty smart and insightful people, ya know. And if I meet one, I'll introduce you.