The Dating Pool (Needs Chlorine)

I haven't been dating a lot lately. It seems to come in spurts for me (pun intended). My favorite date is with Matt (who I have a date with tonight), but he's a lot younger and we have really different lives, so I've been somewhat reluctant to pursue anything serious with him--for both of our sakes. Although I wish I could figure out how to make it work, he's a sweetheart.

Last night, though, I was contacted via my Out in Kansas City profile, and got high hopes that all of my dreams may have been answered. Here's what I got from a jovial and optimistic man who says he's 38; however, I suspect by the picture that he's actually 138. Here's the note (verbatim):

Maybe you could see your way, to Have Lunch or Dinner, with NOT so fit of a guy, that is normal, like's to Laugh, and have fun w/o Sex all the time!!!!!!!!!!! If that is you then hit me Back, we'd have a good time, no matter!!!!!!!!!! Lat, Ethan.............. do you have the ball's?

Hmmm. Tempting. But the truth is, I doubt I will see my way to have Lunch or Dinner with Ethan. Not necessarily because he's older or isn't interested in sex, but because he uses random capitalization, run-on sentences and inappropriate apostrophes with simple plural words. However, sometimes I do think it's cute to use 15-20 exclamation points, but generally not after saying that we WON'T have sex all the time. I mean, if we DID have sex all the time, that might be worth some extra punctuation. And, ya gotta love a hip 38 year old that says "Late," short for Later (although he spelled it "Lat").

Oh well. As it turns out, I guess I don't have the balls.