Random Thoughts #19

--In the news today, a prison guard was reprimanded by the Massachusetts Department of Correction for showing "Brokeback Mountain" to prisoners. Why, you ask? Gee, I dunno, maybe because showing aggressive, unprotected anal sex to prison inmates might be a bad idea? I support the movie, but geez, why not just show "Escape from Alcatraz"?

--I woke up this morning without a hangover. I was pleasantly surprised at that, considering I wasn't feeling all that perky when I woke up at about 2 a.m. this morning to pee. Of course, after yelling at a dumbass salesperson for sending me not one, but TWO e-mail reminders that he needed me to edit his power point presentation, I now have a raging headache. And I need a nap.

--I am on a fast track to learning Adobe Premiere 2.0, a professional video editing software application that I just acquired to support my new-found video hobby. I bought the accompanying Adobe "Classroom" book where a series of Video Lessons teaches you how to use the software. So far, so good. The catch: You better have a P4 processor and at least 2Gig of RAM (I had to upgrade this weekend). Look for more professional-looking videos in the near future.

--I was in Border's bookstore this weekend and I overheard a group of teen-aged girls talking about their summer plans. One says, "Ohmigod, like, my Mom wants me to go to like, Duke University for a summer camp and I'm like, no WAY, Mom, I just want to like, lay on the sofa and play video games and eat chips." Another girl responds, "Totally. Fuck learning." All: "Totally." Ah, youth.

--Apparently I have a dedicated service representative at the Volvo dealership. This morning he calls me (at work) and tells me he's replacing whats-her-face and wanted to introduce himself. Then he asked me how my car was doing, to which I replied, "Just fine." Then, in a rather surprised tone, he says, "Really? Well, OK then. That's good to hear." I didn't press him on it, because I was busy, but I can only wonder why he was so surprised that my car was doing fine. Now I'm a little nervous.

--OK, guys. Seriously. Please stop blogging about Mandisa. Aren't we empowering her by giving her a pulpit?

--Last, a special thanks to Troy McClure for his titillating coverage of my date last night. But just FYI, we SO knew that was you with the fern on your head.