Remind me again why I did this...

It's been more than 48 hours since I've heard from my "date" on Sunday. Yesterday I sent a text message; no response. I have to say, I'm disappointed. I'd be angry, but they say that those who anger you control you, and we won't be having any of that.

The interesting thing is that I didn't see it coming. He seemed genuinely nice. I think we both had a great time. He seemed professional; respectful. I shared some pretty intimate things with him (at his request) in those four hours that I thought might preclude a "never-hear-from-you-again" ending. I suppose I misjudged his character. No. I'm sure I did.

What I've learned from this experience is that I need to be more discerning between people's word and their actions. For example, his Match.com profile (verbatim):

Above all, my ideal match must be sincere. Honesty and integrity are some of my greatest strengths, and mean more to me than any other moral. We're human, and therefore we make mistakes. But it is the person who can admit when he was wrong and understand how he affects others that I will ultimately do cartwheels for. Emotional strength, financial stability, and your basic ethics are pretty important to me, too. Nobody's perfect, but my standards are pretty high.

This, from a guy who HELD MY HAND (just about the most intimate thing I can bring myself to do). A guy I thought I might bring myself to like. A guy that didn't have the courtesy to even acknowledge me.

This, my friends, is why I abhor dating. I loathe to see those espousing personality traits like integrity and honesty with absolutely no grasp of the concept or fortitude to deliver the same in return. Or people that don't have the slightest respect for others' feelings. People that hide behind the anonymity of an ignored text message, or just simply disappear without a trace hoping to avoid any semblence of confrontation. It's so sad that, as a culture, we allow the "Ignore" button on our chat clients to permeate our real-life interpersonal relationships. It's pathetic, really.

And what do we think integrity and honesty are, exactly? Not stealing office supplies or admitting when you don't like someone's cooking? No, that's not it. If that were the case, then everyone could say they have it. And most don't. Integrity is about doing the right thing, every time, even when it sucks. About living with a strict moral compass that causes you--and the people with whom you interact--to be reassured in the kindness of others and the good in other people. Integrity is about the exchange of short-term discomfort for long-term justice. It is the armor that real men wear when faced with adversity. A way of keeping the world righted.

But, oh well. He's not the first cute, intelligent guy to not be interested in me. And I seriously doubt he'll be the last. I'll move on to the next one knowing that one of us left our encounter with our integrity still in check.

NEXT!