Tuesday, June 06, 2006

How 'Bout a Bean Sandwich?

Mom: [In thick Texas accent]. Hi honey, it's yer Mom, Happy Birthday!
Me: Hey! Thank you, thank you. 29 again.
Dad: Hey bud, Happy Birthday.
Me: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: So what are you up today?
Me: Well, I just finished cooking for about 10 people and we're all eating out on the deck before we head over to the Pride Festival.
Mom: Well that sounds fun. What's the Pride Festival?
Me: It's Kansas City's Gay Pride Festival. It's where we all go and get drunk and act as gay as we possibly can.
Mom: [Slight pause]. Well that sounds fun. [Another slight pause]. So what'd you cook for dinner?
Me: Oh, I just barbecued some steaks and chicken on the grill. Oh, and I "doctored" some beans with your special recipe!
Dad: Mmm, I love those doctored beans.
Mom: They are good, that's for sure. Say, hun, we don't want to keep you away from your friends, so we'll letcha go. You enjoy the rest of your birthday!
Me: OK, guys, thanks for calling me. I love you!
Mom and Dad: We love you too! Happy Birthday. Bye!

30 seconds pass. Phone rings again. I expect to hear something about gay pride or not drinking too much or something bad about Dad.

Mom: Hey.
Me: Hey again.
Mom: I just wanted to tell you--real quick--put those beans in the ice box, and later when you come home get a couple of pieces of bread and have yourself a bean sandwich! They are out of this world!
Me: [Laughing]. Mom, you called me back to tell me to eat a bean sandwich?
Mom: Just do what your mother says, and don't forget to take some Bean-o!
Me: Thanks Mom, you always give good advice.

I told everyone about the bean sandwich call-back and we all laughed. I bet I said "bean sammich" in a thick Texas accent about 50 times. But I'll be damned if I didn't come home that night and eat myself a bean sandwich. And it was the best thing I'd eaten all day. Except unfortunately for Casey, I didn't take ALL of her advice...


Post a Comment

<< Home