Friday, June 23, 2006

Things I Learned in Minneapolis

Top ten things I learned from our corporate executives:

1. We suck.
2. As a whole, our entire division sucks.
3. Our production sucks.
4. Our sales numbers suck.
5. We suck.
6. We should FOCUS.
7. We should INNOVATE.
8. No one else sucks.
9. Sucking is bad.
10. We shouldn't suck.

And then ten other random observations about my trip to Minneapolis:

1. Minnesota is full of hot, blond Nordic types.
2. Expensive dinners and lots of wine is supposed to keep employees happy.
3. Everyone in MN is married and has at least two kids.
4. If I worked in MN, I'd have a big office.
5. If I worked in MN, I'd have big gashes in my wrists.
6. I hate suits.
7. There really aren't 10,000 lakes in MN. It's more like 15,000.
8.
Did I mention that Minnesota is full of hot, blond Nordic types?
9. Executives need three reserved parking spots (for guests and wives).
10. Lack of windows and fresh air keep employees FOCUSED.

4 Comments:

At 2:38 PM, Blogger Sorted Lives said...

Liked your list -- I agree, if I worked in MN I would have gashed in my wrist. Thanks for the update though your readers probably figured out you weren't going to Disney World.

 
At 8:29 PM, Blogger Brian FInch said...

I grew up in Winniepg, we always considered MM to be our unofficial sister city. We looked up to that city, so you can imagine what my hometown is like.

 
At 10:11 AM, Blogger H Y A K U N I N C H O said...

I thought you would have put in your top ten list of things you learnt in Minneapolis the following:

1. Corporate executives suck.

BTW,

Thanks for the birthday greeting!

 
At 8:13 AM, Blogger Jess said...

Sounds like your company really knows how to motivate people! ;)

As for, If I worked in MN, I'd have big gashes in my wrists, I can believe that!

 

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