Friday, July 07, 2006


Each year our company follows strict guidelines for annual performance evaluations by grouping us into three categories. Around 5% of employees receive "Needs Improvement," 80% "Meets Expectations," and 15% or less receive "Exceeds Expectations." It is emphasized that those that get an NI are basically dead meat and should be looking for another job, and that those that get EEs are gods to be worshipped. You know, going places. Picking out the corner offices, etc. etc.

Today I got my evaluation from my boss. In my five years with this company, I've always been an ME, which says that I've been doing exactly what they expect of me: working my ass off. But THIS year?? Nooooooo. Apparently, taking extra long lunches and spending a lot of time writing on a "blog" has made a significant impact on my work. Not using my PTO appropriately, leaving way too early (after coming in way too late) and reading Augusten Burroughs' books in the Mother's Room also seemed to effect my performance. Sadly, all of these things MAY be true, except that in this completely surreal corporate environment, it earned me my very first EE.

Kiss the ring, bitches. ;)


At 3:53 PM, Blogger KipEsquire said...

"He's gone from blow to kick-ass!"

At 6:27 PM, Blogger Sorted Lives said...

Congrads to you -- and yes, I will kiss the ring

At 11:36 PM, Blogger Micah said...

So that makes you an "EE" ticket, right?

At 2:07 PM, Blogger David said...

Did you know that rings are reservoirs for germs? : )

At 11:55 PM, Anonymous David in KC said...

Well, Dave, you certainly exceeded my expectations when I met you.


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