Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Random Thoughts #32

--In case you were wondering, it is practically impossible to say the word "effervescence" when wearing Invisalign dental appliances. Not that this pops up into everyday conversation, I'm just saying. Or not saying.

--I still have a rash on my chest. In keeping with the manner in which I was raised (by total hypochondriacs), I shall hereby speculate on its origin: 1) allergic reaction to taking large doses of workout-enhancing glutamine; 2) allergic reaction to Lever2000 liquid soap; 3) allergic reaction to Casey's Advantage Flea and Tick prevention; 4) herpes shingles caught from tractor seat; 4) brain tumor; 5) my bed is infested with lice or crabs or scabies or other invisible microoganisms that are slowly devouring my skin; 6) leprosy. It HAS to be one of those, I'm sure of it.

--Last night I finished the book, "The Kite Runner." At first I didn't think I was going to like it, but
I enjoyed it immensely. I didn't know a whole lot about Afghanistan prior to reading it (not that I do now), but it turned out to be incredibly educational for me with regards to the culture and lifestyle of the Afghan people. I highly recommend it. I've even taken to calling Casey "Casey jan." Isn't that cute? I'm like, sooo multi-cultural.

--Throughout my life, I've done lots of statistically dangerous things: driven a car at high speeds, taken a shower, flown in airplanes, smoked, rock climbed, ridden a bicycle with no hands, drank to excess, jet skied, etc. etc. But not ONCE prior to these events has anyone felt obliged to cite: a) death statistics; b) anecdotal emergency room horrors; or c) relatives or friends having an accident in said event.
Why does everyone feel so comfortable doing this with regard to motorcycles? Geez.

--And, in an effort to completely ignore the aforementioned critics, I signed up for a Motorcycle Education/Safety Course this morning. It's August 2-4, Friday from 6-10, then Saturday and Sunday from 8-5. I'm really excited about it. They're gonna teach us how to do wheelies and ride over the top of cars and how to roll out from under an 18-wheeler without breaking a nail. I think they also teach basic motorcycle skills (they provide the motorcycle!), how to use/wear proper safety equipment and other important skills to avoid the dumbasses in cars that kill us. Listen to me, I'm already an "us."


At 11:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you keep teaching your dog those foolish things, don't be surprised when Casey Jan would greet you with "Salyam Aleykum" when you come from work one day.

Also here is a perfect personalized licence plate for the born-again biker like urself: "EVLKNVL". And you get a 50 cents discount off $44 licence Plate fee if you put it on your bike.

At 11:57 AM, Blogger David said...

I feel equally comfortable doing it with regard to everything you mentioned with the exception of showering. I wouldn't address the hazards of showering until you are much older.

At 12:42 PM, Blogger Sorted Lives said...

When you learn all those fancy tricks, you can teach me. I mean, I wouldn't want to break a nail!!

At 1:57 PM, Blogger Dave said...

David, if I get too much older, I won't need a shower--I'll need a nurse to give me a sponge bath. So send me your resume... ;)

At 2:09 PM, Blogger Kevin said...

Oh God -- a friend of mine in college had an ear ache and always joked that it was a tumor. That became our running gag, that anytime any of us were feeling ill, it was a tumor.

(Not that having a tumor is a laughing matter, mind you ...)

Thanks for the throwback! And for the laugh -- re: the comment you left me.

At 3:34 PM, Blogger David said...

I assure you I'm qualified.

At 3:59 PM, Blogger Michael said...

The Kite Runner made me cry a little. That's saying a lot.


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