Speaking of Dirty Jobs...

If you've never watched the ruggedly handsome and deceptively funny Mike Rowe on the Discovery Channel's "Dirty Jobs," you should. The show is really very entertaining, and I like him a lot. Not because he's willing to jerk off a horse, or crawl into sewer drains where mice run across his crotch, but because he sends my gaydar needle OFF THE CHARTS. He's good-looking, well-spoken, has a very tidy pad in San Francisco, single, etc. etc. And there's a lot of curiously-placed and overt heterosexual bravado that no straight man would ever feel the need to throw into the subtext of the show. But anyway, that's not why I'm writing...

The REAL reason I'm writing is because I don't think that Mike has really ever quite gotten to the DIRTIEST job around. Sure, he's tarred a rooftop, made some charcoal and sexed a baby chicken, but honestly, who wouldn't be willing to do that, right? Those jobs might suck, but they're not really all that dirty. If Mike had any balls (OK, well, if the Discovery Channel had any balls), he'd march down the nastiest truckstop porn shop, grab a bucket, and walk from stall to stall mopping trucker cum from the floor.

CUM MOPPER. Now THAT'S a dirty job.