Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Motorcycles Anonymous

I'm Dave, and I want a motorcycle. "Hi Dave."

For the last few months that I've been considering alternate transportation, I've been fooling myself and others. I'm not a die-hard energy conservationist, and certainly not an ubercool hipster that sips espressos at Italian cafes. For the same reason I can't grow my hair long or wear a baseball cap sideways, I cannot own a scooter. While they're both [arguably] cool and in vogue--they just aren't for me. I just don't feel "right" on a scooter.

I want a motorcycle because they ignite a sense of excitement in me. Their throaty growl and top-end wail speak loudly to my inner thrill seeker. Just looking at one stirs my spirit. I want to soak up the skills necessary to be an accomplished and safe rider and broaden my repertoire of experiences. I'm drawn to the culture of riding, both alone and in groups. So to help myself get through this, I've developed and will apply the Motorcycles Anonymous(TM) 12-Step program (my own creation).

Step 1: Admit that you are powerless over your desire to ride a motorcycle.
Step 2: Come to believe that buying a motorcycle will restore excitement in your life.
Step 3: Talk to friends and strangers about motorcycles.
Step 4: Watch YouTube videos of people riding motorcycles and feel a kindred spirit.
Step 5: Investigate every brand and type and make of motorcycle.
Step 6: Read motorcycle forums.
Step 7: Buy a helmet and gloves and a protective riding jacket.
Step 8: Enroll in and take an approved Motorcycle Safety Course.
Step 9: Buy a motorcycle.
Step 10: Ride.
Step 11: Ride.
Step 12: And ride some more.


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