Random Thoughts # 39

--I took my car in for service today and got a loaner car, a bright-red Volvo S40. Already, I like several things about it better than my XC90: All four windows are auto up/down; the door lock/unlock is fast (mine pauses for 2 seconds to unlock the passenger and back doors--annoying); and the radio display is better (no glare). Of course, you can't haul 30 bags of mulch in it.

--Is it so terribly wrong that I want to see what Debra LaFave's victim looks like? I understand he's a minor and all, but a part of me thinks I'd be less judgmental if he was six foot tall with hair on his chest. I mean, isn't that nature's way of saying he's ready for the dirty deed? This country is so fucking ridiculous when it comes to "protecting our children's innocence." I bet 95% of the world's 14 year-olds would do what he did in a heartbeat--and have no long-term emotional scars to show for it.

--Meredith Vieira. She's growing on me, but she's not quite there yet. I'll get there I think. It's just going to take some time. Really. I'm gonna make it. Deep breaths.

--Yesterday I was at a stop light and our local weatherman, Brett Anthony, drove up next to me in a little Chevy Malibu with a baby seat in the back. I almost honked at him for a Peek Pic opportunity, but I wasn't sure he'd be able to handle all the added fame, so I let him off the hook. I expected him to drive a nicer car.

--Why do so many food establishments give senior citizen discounts? Is it a marketing ploy to lure in that huge, high-margin, over-65 crowd? A way to give back some "respect" for, um, not dying? And why wouldn't other industries do this, like a discount on a new car, or a house? I'm thinking this is blatant age discrimination. I want 10% off my fries, dammit.

--I wonder if the kids on MTV's Two-A-Days realize they're just objectified eye candy to satisfy America's voyeuristic appetite for pretty teenagers? I mean, those poor things, I bet they think people are actually interested in high school football practice. MTV producers are laughing all the way to the bank. Can't you just hear the producer: "Hey guys, it's really HOT out here, let's take off out shirts!"

--I'm pretty set in my ways. I've been using a Gillette Sensor razor for years, and I've really never had a reason to change. But I got a Gillette "Fusion" razor in the mail this week and I gave it a shot. All I can say is DAMN. No really, DAMN.