Friday, October 27, 2006

Hey Brutha, Spare a Dime?

This morning, I lost a million dollars. Actually, it was $1.2M to be exact. And by 9am, no less. All due to a know-it-all ex-Dallas Cowboy sales rep that doesn't know the difference between "speak" and "shut the fuck up."

I will now spend the rest of my day assuring that this sales rep is severely humiliated, beaten senseless, and drawn and quartered in the town square. Then I will slow-roast his skewered carcass on a fiery spit,
urinating on him for flavor. When he's done, I'm going to serve him up to his boss, and his boss's boss, both with a big ol' side of shit pie. And they will eat their humble dinner on their knees, off the tops of my bare feet, begging for mercy at every gulp.

And I thought today was going to be boring.

6 Comments:

At 11:03 AM, Blogger KipEsquire said...

Just be sure to kick 'em with your good foot.

 
At 11:51 AM, Blogger The Persian said...

Yikes! as in personally????

 
At 7:21 PM, Anonymous MiKell said...

Can I watch that whole "urinating on him" part?

I'm kinky that way.

 
At 9:31 PM, Blogger Brent said...

So are you mad at him?

 
At 12:44 PM, Blogger Sorted Lives said...

You'll have to excuse MiKell, I know him personally, and well, he's a PIG!! Not that there is anything wrong with that...

 
At 11:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I better never piss you off (no pun intended), my oh my ... such hatred. On the other hand $1.2 million is alot of money. Do you really think your urine brings out the best flavor in people?

 

Post a Comment

<< Home