Hey Brutha, Spare a Dime?

This morning, I lost a million dollars. Actually, it was $1.2M to be exact. And by 9am, no less. All due to a know-it-all ex-Dallas Cowboy sales rep that doesn't know the difference between "speak" and "shut the fuck up."

I will now spend the rest of my day assuring that this sales rep is severely humiliated, beaten senseless, and drawn and quartered in the town square. Then I will slow-roast his skewered carcass on a fiery spit, urinating on him for flavor. When he's done, I'm going to serve him up to his boss, and his boss's boss, both with a big ol' side of shit pie. And they will eat their humble dinner on their knees, off the tops of my bare feet, begging for mercy at every gulp.

And I thought today was going to be boring.