Bugs, Line Dancing and Locker Rooms

At first, I couldn't tell what it was. It looked like a huge brown caterpillar with sharp yellowish feathers sticking out of its back. I tried to get a closer look, but it scurried along the baseboard towards the patio door. I panicked, so I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a broom. My Mom was standing on a small footstool dressed in a nightgown, chopping a head of lettuce. When I ran back to the creature, it flattened itself and slid under the door.

As I opened it, I was in a very old but well-maintained gymnasium, where kids were packed in the bleachers for some type of performance. Large exhaust fans turned slowly at the opposite end of the gym. I found myself standing in a crowd of country music stars: Dolly Parton; George Strait; Reba McEntire. They were waiting in line to run out to the middle of the gym floor to dance; Riverdance style. But it was too hot in the gym for me and I snuck off through a side door.

Then I was in my Junior High locker room with only a towel on. My college water polo team was there getting dressed. I tried to sell each of them locker space at $100 a locker, but everyone ignored me. Frustrated, I jumped into the shower where a older but good-looking man was furiously masturbating. His chest hair was trimmed into a perfect sphere, and he was soapy from head to toe. I watched him from the corner of my eye until he was about to orgasm. My alarm woke me up before he did.