Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Bugs, Line Dancing and Locker Rooms

At first, I couldn't tell what it was. It looked like a huge brown caterpillar with sharp yellowish feathers sticking out of its back. I tried to get a closer look, but it scurried along the baseboard towards the patio door. I panicked, so I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a broom. My Mom was standing on a small footstool dressed in a nightgown, chopping a head of lettuce. When I ran back to the creature, it flattened itself and slid under the door.

As I opened it, I was in a very old but well-maintained gymnasium, where kids were packed in the bleachers for some type of performance. Large exhaust fans turned slowly at the opposite end of the gym. I found myself standing in a crowd of country music stars: Dolly Parton; George Strait; Reba McEntire. They were waiting in line to run out to the middle of the gym floor to dance; Riverdance style. But it was too hot in the gym for me and I snuck off through a side door.

Then I was in my Junior High locker room with only a towel on. My college water polo team was there getting dressed. I tried to sell each of them locker space at $100 a locker, but everyone ignored me. Frustrated, I jumped into the shower where a older but good-looking man was furiously masturbating. His chest hair was trimmed into a perfect sphere, and he was soapy from head to toe. I watched him from the corner of my eye until he was about to orgasm. My alarm woke me up before he did.

2 Comments:

At 8:12 AM, Blogger Kevin said...

No more late night snacks before bed for you, mister.

 
At 12:25 PM, Blogger oomm said...

Disturbing but not as disturbing as the one I had two nights ago in which Burt Reynolds disrobed before me, trying to turn me on but instead revealing that he had...er...skidmarks all over his posterior. He expect me to not only not be repulsed by this but to clean it up for him. Which I did. With a wet paper towel. Why couldn't the alarm clock have saved me from THAT little treat?

 

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