Where There's a Will, There's a Way

All the recent thoughts about death have prompted me to get off my ass and make a will. I've always paid lip-service to needing one, but I've never been motivated to actually put one together. Until today. This afternoon I downloaded Quicken's Willmaker Plus and spent the better part of three hours walking through interviews about who I want to take care of my stuff, what to do with it, and documenting how I want things to happen just before and right after I die.

This is a lot harder than I thought. I had almost no easily-accessible documentation of my accounts and assets. All that stuff is in my head, and it would be almost impossible for anyone in my family to find the details of my 401Ks, IRAs, bank accounts, investment accounts, stock options, mortgage information, insurance documents, etc. etc. It's amazing how easy it is to forget these things when you forward your online statements into an e-mail folder that you never open.

And then there's how I want my funeral to be conducted. One of the things that really upset me about Jesse's funeral was that the word "gay" was never uttered. Boy Scouts, Ford employees and high school friends were all specifically acknowledged. But his gay friends, even while making up at least 25% of the audience, sat in silence. I would hate that to happen at my funeral, regardless of who might squirm in their seat. Putting this information down on paper, and designating a trusted loved one to carry it out, is very empowering.

And don't forget the Health Care Directive. If Terri Sciavo taught us anything, it's to document who you want your caregiver to be, and how you want him/her to make life or death decisions for you. It's hard, because it cuts to the very root of our personal belief systems. And as I began working through the various scenarios and answering the questions posed, it was clear that my stance on mortality is quite different than that of my family's. I feel better having put it all on paper, and I look forward to talking with my sister about it. She's the one I've designated to make sure my nurses are hot, and to hit me in the head with a rock when I start to drool during reruns of Golden Girls. Poor thing.

Finally, details, details, details. Does someone know where you keep your personal papers? Do they know where you hide the key? Who knows the account number of that old 401K from ten years ago? Who should they contact when you die? Where is your address book? What's the password to that account? Who is your doctor? What are your health conditions? Business interests? Debts? Real Estate? Lord, it's overwhelming just to think about it, much less document it. Still, it needs to be done.

Now quit playing around. Go make a will. It'll be the best $40 you ever spent making life easier on your loved ones.