Random Thoughts #49

--Is it me, or has the Discovery Channel all of a sudden become the Mike Rowe Channel? I mean, I like the guy--he's good-looking, has a great voice and good sense of humor. But come on, Discovery. Does he really need to be on 22 of the 24 hours?

--I can smell my flip-flops from across the room. That's seriously disgusting. What's funny is that none of my other shoes smells bad. But these... whew! I think I may run them through the dishwasher.

--My Mom called to tell me that it had rained 18 inches overnight at their house just outside of Austin, Texas. My first thought: NO WAY could it rain that much. That's like Noah's Ark rain. I sent her an e-mail asking her if that was "Mom inches" (she has a track record of exaggerating for effect), but she denied it. Turns out, it did rain that much, and the 24-hour record in Texas is 38.2. Damn. That's a lotta watta. And then this morning, Marble Falls (their town) was on the Today Show! GO MF!

--I'm always amazed at how many people pack those giant mega-churches to listen to preachers like Joel Osteen or Joyce Meyer. When they pan out and show the crowd (nodding and saying "amen," of course) there are thousands of them. I wonder what the people on the top level in the worst seats get out of that. I bet they think that somehow they're getting extra points with their God for physically attending, because you KNOW it sucks to park and hike all the way up there. I wonder if they sell hot dogs...

--I was thinking about writing a post today on the varying quality of toilet paper and how my white-trash booty actually prefers the cheaper brands. But then I thought it might be interesting to write a post on the varying techniques for wiping my ass. I know the topic is gross, but what if I'm doing it wrong? Hell, I don't even remember how I learned. How long of a strip do you pull from the roll? Double-swipe? Triple-swipe? Do you LOOK at it before tossing it? I need to know these things. I smell a video coming on. Literally.